Monday, September 29, 2008

It's time for

A collegiate 15...

1. I'm really worried about you. I don't like where this is headed, I care about you way too much and I really don't want you to get hurt. Be careful!
2. You made my day like 2823 times worse. All in the span of about 20 minutes. I'm kinda ticked at you right now.
3. I think you need to open up your eyes and look at the bright side of things. Change your attitudes a bit and I think everything will go better for you.
4. What? I'm sooo confused by you! You're a confusing person. That being said, I hope you're happy, because you're so nice and friendly and fun!
5. I MISS YOU!!!! PLEASE VISIT ME, OR MAKE IT EASIER FOR ME TO COME VISIT YOU!!!!
6. Looking back, I'm really upset with the way things ended up. In saying that, though, I should note that I would never ever do it again unless things changed drastically. So far, you're proving me right.
7. I love you! Thanks for always being there for me no matter what's going on or how whiney or stupid I am. That means the world to me.
8. Dude.... I don't think it's ever been this long since we've talked. I feel very very disconnected right now...
9. I don't like you much. You're very mean and I've only been nice to you.
10. You are an insufferable know it all, to quote a movie. But for you, it's true. You really don't need to be right about everything and better and all that. It's annoying.
11. I can only take so much of you. After a while, it gets old.
12. I think you're wonderful! We should get to know eachother better.
13. I believe that I haven't been very fair to you. I've acted strangely, but I think its just because I'm separated from where I was most comfortable and I'm getting used to things. I hope I'm getting better for you!
14. You're super cool and funny. I think we should be friends!
15. I hate ALL of you. You are the most disrespectful people I've ever met and you're stupid about all of it. I wish I could have lived in a better place.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

College Bloggin

Reflections on college thusfar:

- I feel alone. I miss all of my friends. I wish there was a way that they all could come up and visit me, or at least I could find a new good friend to fill this void. But I haven't met anyone yet that I'm interested in being great friends with. Sure, I've met nice people, and sure, I enjoy spending time with them, but at the same time, I need someone who will lay out under the stars with me. Who I can talk to about everything I'm feeling. I have those. But they're not here. Well, I guess there's a few. But I need someone who I connect more with emotionally. Who can listen to how I'm feeling and who won't be afraid to tell me what they're feeling. Psh. I'm whiny. I don't think they don't exist. I'm sure there's somebody here. But I want to find them. Really badly. And I mean, Sammy, Christie, Julie and Josh are all great. But I need new blood. Someone new to change things up.
- I hate the freakin kids in my hallway. They are the most annoying people in the whole world, doing drugs and pounding on my door at 2 in the morning. I have theory at 8, freaks. I need sleep. And I think one of them just stole something out of my room and I don't know what I can do. I don't know if he did or not, and I'm scared of getting killed or raped if I tell my RA. I'm scared.
- College in general is the most amazing place I've ever been. I don't have anything that I don't look forward to (well, I guess I don't look forward to Music History, but at least its a music class, right? lol), the people are all very nice, and I love Fort Collins! I can't wait for everything else to keep going and to see where college is going to take me!

I get to see Les Miserables on October 4th!!! I'm sooooo excited! Plus, it means I come back to Arvada for a day, so all of you Arvadan people who I miss so much can come see me! Okay? lol

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

I'm a funny, grateful, arrogant person.

Authentic Hapiness Test Results:



Strengths:

1. Humor and Playfulness

2. Gratitude

3. Capacity to love and be loved

4. Citizenship, teamwork, and loyalty

5. Kindness and generosity



Weaknesses:

1. Honesty, authenticity, and genuineness

2. Bravery and valor

3. Self-control and self-regulation

4. Caution, prudence, and discretion

5. Modesty and humility



Hmmm...

Friday, July 25, 2008

Maybe I should...

Just not do this anymore. It kills me every single time that I do. I'm such a horrible horrible person...

God... please save me from all of this crap.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Lessons learned over the summer...

Here's a list of some of the most important things I've learned so far this summer:

1. Don't tell my parents anything that I disagree with. Seriously, I get nowhere doing that because the only thing they ever do is tell me I'm wrong and make a big deal out of some little thing that I was just bringing up casually or thought that they would agree with me. Oops, guess I was wrong. I thought parents were supposed to be supportive. My bad.

2. Anything with junk food is freakin amazing. I've fallen in love with Jolly Ranchers, Twerpz, Ice Cream (best string camp group ever), cake, Reese's... I could go on forever.

3. I've noticed more and more that when I'm around my friends I do a lot of talking... I believe I should work on that.

4. There is nothing better than swimming in the ocean in the Caribbean. Nothing. It is so freakin incredible how warm and fun it is.

5. People lie to your face all the time. Here I was, believing every word you said. I thought that you were actually telling me the truth and making an effort to fix it, but I guess I was wrong. It sucks, but I'm done with you. I'm done trying to impress you, I'm done trying to be your friend, and I'm done thinking about you... if only I was telling the truth.

6. There's something wrong with my car. I just can't figure out what it is. My car is a POS. That's for dang sure.

7. Not talking to some of your best friends for like 5 weeks is extremely tough. I NEED to see some of them soon. Especially Allison. I miss her oodles.

8. There is always somewhere you should draw the line. Unfortunately, I still can't always figure out where and when that is. I've done too many things this summer that I really shouldn't have, and I'm still regretting it.

9. Plaid shorts are the greatest things ever. I may look like I'm gay, but they have got to be the most comfortable pants I've ever worn.

10. Albertson's customers are all demons. I'm so sick and tired of dealing with people being rude and annoying to me and my coworkers/friends. Seriously.

11. I'm also frustrated with Albertsons themselves. Their lack of ability to find competent workers sickens me. Take one of my coworkers for example. She was asked about her sister and she says (and I quote), "I don't have a sister. Well, I have a little sister". I think that explains it all.

12. It still amazes me to this day, eight years after my first strings camp, how much the camp really affects people. I know that if I never went to strings camp, I would probably be choosing a much different career. I would be missing out on so much. Thank you, Mrs. Nelson, for making such a large impact on my life, and on others' lives as well.

13. I want to change the world somehow. Really really bad.

14. My cello has got to be the most amazing thing in the world, and I love love love LOVE to practice. It's growing on me (and just in time, too).

15. Its the best feeling in the world to know that I've changed someone's mind about music and being told that I'm a good role model. Especially because I view myself as someone who you really shouldn't want to be.

16. Planning for college really has a certain thrill about it. Sure, it costs me a crapload of money to go to college, and that has me freaked out beyond belief. But I think somehow I'll make it. Just spending time working on all of it has made me feel so much better about it.

17. I have really really strange crushes. I mean, it ranges from people younger than me to just people who I never really had considered liking before. Its a strange feeling. And a confusing one. Luckily, there hasn't been much contact with anyone for a while, and its probably better that I keep it that way.

18. Girls don't typically like being told you're going to marry them. Huh. Who knew?

19. Stay away from big pine trees. They make my eyes swell up like freakin chia pets.

20. Having a bunch of fifth and sixth graders bombard you with water for about fifteen minutes CAN be the highlight of your summer. What a great day it was.

21. Mooching is fun. And bad. But mostly fun.

22. I think differently now. I believe in myself a little more every day, and I keep growing in my belief that my life is going to turn out for the best. I feel like I'm on the right track, that soon I'll be doing what I love to do and being who I want to be. I'm really excited to see the rest of my life unfold. And at the same time, I'm extremely scared. I don't want to be a failure. I don't want to be in debt my whole life. But, unfortunately thats the way it's probably going to be.

23. My main goal in life is to influence someone so much, that they change into a better human being because of it. It's something I've always wanted. Especially through music, because I've been influenced so much by my musical experience, and I just love the way I feel whenever I'm immersed into music. I want others to feel how I feel.

24. Monopoly is the best game. Especially if you have hotels on all the orange ones. Because then you win.

25. I'm going to miss all of the great memories I had from high school. Homecomings, orchestra, all those things... but I think I'm going to remember senior prom for the rest of my life. That was by far one of the best memories I had from high school. I don't care how it turned out, or what it turned into, I just know that it was one of the most amazing nights of my life, and I don't want to ever forget it...

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

YEA!

Hooray for my senior recital being over and pretty successful. I can't really complain! lol